Today I feel calmer. Last night I went out with friends but came home early because of anxiety. I’m just glad I got to see my friends. It’s just a relief to know they are still there even though I don’t see them a lot.
During this journey of blog writing I have been pleasantly surprised by the support of others. It’s good to know people think of me, even the most unexpected of people offer their support and that makes me feel good. I also appreciate people trusting me with their own thoughts and feelings. Everyone’s experience of mental health issues are different and it can be damn hard to talk about. I applaud your courage. I applaud your first steps to a very possible satisfying recovery.
For me bank holidays are really depressing. The Monday feels like another Sunday so I just want to sleep the time away. Sunday’s have always been bad for me because as a kid I knew it meant school the next day. Banks holidays just made the Sunday feel even longer making my despair and worry intensify. My childhood was miserable. I wonder if I should confront that bully from so long ago. I’m ashamed to say that I still feel that pang of fear when I think of my tormenter. I still feel bitter anger and resentment. Would it help to contact her? Would it help to ask why? Would it help if she told me she was sorry? Or will I always fear and loathe her? Should I confront the bully from my miserable past?