The thing is with depression it doesn’t discriminate, unlike people. It barges into your life and doesn’t give a shit what it does to you. It can strike anyone at any time. It doesn’t care how old you are, if your female or male, rich, poor, beautiful or ugly it just doesn’t care! It’s a serious illness that doesn’t discriminate but as a sufferer many people discriminate against me. Why? Why is it still so taboo when so many people out there live with the constant battle against this vicious monster ? Everyday can seem like a constant tiring fight. Some days even just functioning can seem impossible. It’s a lonely illness that can be very selfish. Many people who suffer from mental health issues feel that there is something wrong with them. It can be years before people have the courage to seek help. I went undiagnosed for many years and along the way I was made to feel bad due to my illness. The prejudice against mental health was a serious problem. Although it’s getting better now there still isn’t enough resources to help everyone. It can be a long time time for many but after having therapy sessions your simply left alone to deal with it. Therapy doesn’t always work but yet people are to afraid to admit they still feel bad after receiving treatment. You almost don’t want to admit to still feeling depressed just to please others, or because people think you should be suddenly cured.
For me I knew I needed help after hearing voices. I had felt my mental heath deteriorating for quite a while. At first I thought the voices were people outside talking but then it started to get worse. I was so frightened but so scared to tell anyone. I was afraid at what people would think. I’m not schizophrenic and the voices were not telling me to do anything but, I had convinced myself that I was so I continued to stay quiet about it. Then one night when I was alone the voices came to scare me once again. They were so loud that I was terrified. I thought I was losing my mind. I knew then that I needed help. I’m glad I did. I got therapy and was told hearing voices was more common than anyone thinks. It can be due to severe depression and PTSD and many people can experience it. I thought long and hard before writing these blogs because people can be cruel and no one likes to admit to feeling depressed but if it helps anyone then it’s worth it. Sometimes my demons feel as though they are gonna get the better of me. And sometimes I feel as though I’m to damaged to have a happy normal life but, I will never give up on true happiness.