Another problem of mine is worry. Generalized Anxiety Disorder is the correct term for it. It’s hard to describe how serious anxiety feels unless you have been there yourself. Like child birth it’s a pain you can’t describe. It can suddenly hit you out of the blue. A horrible achey agitated feeling in your stomach and chest and sits there like a tonne weight. I can take one teeny little ant hill of a problem and turn it into a mount Everest problem. I worry about things that other people have forgotten about. Ever since I was a kid I’ve always been plagued by worry. It seems impossible to switch off and even if I’m on top of everything  I still have an awful agitated feeling, like a boiling pan that keeps bubbling. I wish I knew how to get rid of anxiety because it really is a nightmare to live with.

To put myself in a better place I got rid of all the slasher films in my DVD collection. It may sound daft but getting rid of the negative in my home was a relief. I got rid of most of my true crime books also. I started slowly to decrease a lot of the negative and up the positive. I love my flowers, I love seeing them, the colours and turning them into something beautiful. I love to make wreaths. I still love my books but nothing to keep me up at night. I love lavender and other soothing scents in my home. I also like to surround myself in beautiful colours and I always give myself something to look forward to no matter how small. I would love to hear how others cope.


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