keeping it real

It’s a sad fact that when the chips are down or your world falls apart you find out who your friends  “aren’t ” ! You realize that these people you call friends are not what you think. You come in useful to people for a piss up or a night out but once you become ” boring ” or ” miserable ” they don’t want to know. As you go through life you will find that very few people are with you for the long haul.  And through thick or thin. For someone like me who suffers terribly from depression finding truly good people has been hard. I have been hard work and found long term friendships hard. Like I have said depression is a very selfish illness. It’s easy to forget how difficult it is for others to be around you when your feeling so down and depressed. Its easy to forget that there are people that really need you to. And it’s also easy to forget that there are people that really need you when your in the depths of despair. Sometimes it’s impossible to believe that people truly want you in their life and that people love and truly care about you. It’s easy to convince yourself that your unlovable or worthless. The bad things are easier to believe. Sometimes you need to really open your eyes to those who really are important. The real people with real feelings for you, real genuine feelings. It’s also important to realize that the real people in your life have their sadness and worries to. These are the people that can really help you and you can really help them. They are not just the drinking buddies they are your real friends. And if you have just one of these people then appreciate and cherish them. I’ve spent such a long time hating myself and putting myself down that I’ve been blind to the fact that I have more than one of these people in my life. I have honestly spent so long putting myself down and convincing myself I’m unlikable and awful Because I don’t have loads of “friends ” that I’ve overlooked those great girls that are real. These people trust me, confide in me and want to know what I think. They like me for me because they truly are my friends and no matter how shitty life can be we will always have each other. I dedicate this blog to Pam, Amanda, Lisa, Sarah, Jenny , Kelly and Becky. Thank you for being my real friends.


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