suicide is not the ultimate sacrifice

For those of you who are struggling today ,keep going. I know that sometimes we look for every little reason to keep going. Look for any little positive to keep us from slipping that rope around our neck. We get tired of convincing ourselves that life really is worth living and our families need us. Sometimes my head pounds and hurts so bad that I think I’m going to lose my mind. It’s a pain that can’t be spoken and a torment that can not be described because it’s so complicated and indescribable. I wish I could remove my brain from my head, give a good clean and polish then put it back in dust free, pain free and raring to go. Cleaned and polished with all the torment and pain cleaned away. I wish my brain was normal. I wish I could function like a human being. I wish I didn’t have to grasp every little whisper of hope just to keep going. I wish I could cure this terrible illness not just for me but for everyone suffering from this torment, I wish I could help the families and friends of loved ones who suffer. I wish I could prevent every future suicide and show people that suicide is a temporary state of mind and there will be days that your happy to live. There will be many more memories to laugh about with those you love. People will say suicide is the cowards way out but, how can that be ? In your mind you are making the ultimate sacrifice for those you love because you grow tired of seeing your family worry and cry for you. You think you are doing  everyone a favour by leaving them all behind but it’s wrong. Your wrong. Suicide will stop your pain but then it will simply become everyone else’s because their grief for you will be pure and raw. I know in our minds we just want it to stop but without you the pain will only intensify for everyone else. You are loved. You are needed. And yes it’s a cliche but tomorrow really could be a better day and you will find yourself thanking God that you have hung on for another day. I won’t tell you to be strong because you already are. But I will ask you to try and see it for yourself, try to recognize that you matter and give yourself a reason to go on but for you. Yes we want to be strong for others but first believe in yourself. Find yourself. Your important. You matter. And you care.

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