ouch! pass the choc!


Well today I have been on another run with my sister and boy did it hurt. The voices I have heard in the past have been very distressing but, the ones I am hearing now are the ones telling me to give up ! As I have been running I have to admit I’ve felt like saying ” fuck it ” and ” what the hell am I doing to myself “! As I’ve been puffing and panting like an old lady the voices have been screaming at me to stop, stop and get chocolate ! Hell no ! This time I’m determined to get myself in shape. Because it’s hard work puffing and panting along the track but what is even harder is the shitty feeling of giving up. That awful feeling of letting myself down and going back to my old ways of making me so unhappy. Only I can decide whether I continue to carry on with my running but at the same time only I can control the awful giving up feeling that I’d only be doing to myself if I chose to give up. The past few years I’ve had many challenges that seem so easy to others. Getting up in the morning, leaving my room never mind the house, thinking of reasons not to kill myself, making an effort to see family and friends to name a few. Right now though I need a strong frame of mind and giving up will only weaken it further. I have to say a big thank you to my sister though for her encouragement and support. Thanks sis. X

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