happy new year

Wow! It’s almost 2016. I have just applied for my provisional licence and I’ve joined a gym. Time to make things happen. Depression is something that will always haunt me and I’ve no doubt that sometimes it will try to crush me. But I don’t want depression to define me. It’s an illness I have and like any other illness I will Keep on fighting it. It’s time for me to make things happen for me. I didn’t realize it but the biggest and best change I have made is starting this blog. It has helped me more than I realized and I know it has touched others. It has also made me see that I’m lucky. I’m lucky because I still want to live a full life. I still want to see many more countries with my daughter. I want to learn to drive. I want to get fit again. I want to see each month with those I love. I still have those I love in my life and I don’t want to waste it. I dread to think where I’d be if I hadn’t started my blog. It’s been great therapy and before I knew it I started to see more clearly. During this year I’ve been crippled with agonizing depression and anxiety. I lost the will to live. I stopped enjoying the things I love. I couldn’t complete a book . Reading has always been one of my favourite things. I didn’t want to leave the house and when I did I needed someone with me. It’s still a step at a time but at least I can feel again. I’ve found my hopes and dreams again. I want to enjoy my life again. More than anything I want to fall in love, it’s something I’ve never experienced. I feel hopeful I can achieve some if not all of my dreams.

For many people this year had been damned hard. Lives have been turned upside down and there’s a huge sense of sadness all around. I feel for these people and admire their strength. These are wonderful people who do not deserve the trauma they have suffered. They have inspired me to be strong. My love, thoughts and prayers will always be with them. Life is cruel and unfair and all any of us can hope to do is our very best.

Looking back on this year I also have made more awesome memory boxes. My trips to Nice, Cannes, Monaco, Italy , Slovakia and Austria have been unforgettable. Memories I will cherish and keep close to my heart. My daughter started and is doing well at uni. I still have those I love with me.

To everyone of you I wish you all the best for 2016. I hope you have a wonderful night what ever you decide to do. I want to say Happy New Year, stay safe and stay happy.


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