If there’s one feeling I know only to well it’s worry. I worry about everything! I worry about the future. I worry about things I’ve said and done from years ago that others have completely forgotten about. I worry about my family, in fact I just worry all the time. We all worry about stuff but for people like me who suffers with generalised anxiety disorder, I take worry to a whole new level and sometimes it completely overwhelmes me. When my daughter went on a school trip to the zoo I was worried she would fall into the crocodile pit. When a school trip to France was coming up I didn’t want her to go in case she fell overboard on the ferry. When she went to Australia with my mum I told her not to go in the sea in case a shark got her. I was also worried about her getting bitten by a snake or spider! It’s ridiculous and irrational but I couldn’t help it. I’ve always worried but I’ve more chance of being run over by a herd of elephants that some of the things I worry about actually happening. How do I break the cycle ?
Depression and worry sort of reminds me of the labyrinth in the film ” Labyrinth “. Your walking and walking and you don’t can’t seem to see the way out or any other route or opening. Like the girl in the film she walks until she stops after giving up trying to find an opening in the hedges. She stops only to find a little worm that talks. He tells her to look more closely and she will find her way. And she does. For me I’m just starting to see the openings. I’m still getting a bit lost on the way but I’m starting to feel hopeful that I’ll escape this labyrinth of mental illness. The monster is still hot on my heels but I’m trying not to let him get me. What ever obstacles get in my way I’m starting to feel more confident that I’ll get past them. It’s trying to break the cycle. Now when ever I feel worried I ask myself what is the worst case scenario and what are the chances that the worst will happen ? I’m I really that unlucky , will these elephants actually ever run me over ? Of course not. I also ask myself what would I say to someone who was worrying the same way I was. I would reassure them and point out how unlikely it would be for there fears to actually happen. I talk about my worries instead of letting them bottle up and up. Also if a intrusive thought or worry comes into my head I observe it, in my own head but, from afar. I don’t try to suppress it because by trying to suppress these thoughts it’ll only make them worse. So I don’t suppress them but I won’t dwell on them either. If I was Sat at a train station waiting for a train and the wrong train stopped I would watch it go by but I wouldn’t get on board. I’d wait for the train I needed. Watch these thoughts and worries go by but don’t board that train. More importantly talk about how you are feeling and be reasonable with yourself. Did I honestly believe that my daughter would get munched by a shark , be bitten by a spider and a snake, and fall overboard from a ferry ? Well yes I did, then. Don’t be afraid to address your thoughts and feelings you may find that it really helps.
Stay safe stay happy.